Stepford Citizen Syndrome: Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor is Brainwashed

Stepford Citizen Syndrome: Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor is Brainwashed

By Maureen Farrell

Though much of the world is convinced the 2000 election was a coup d'etat, and many believe we're being lied to regarding 9/11, we Americans are unaware of how numb we seem. Not only are we being coerced into World War III, but at this very moment, unnamed souls are secretly locked away, the Army's drafted plans for civilian detention camps and there's a shadow government buzzing beneath our streets. And yet, we continue to ignore the oily elephant in the living room.

The administration's Iraq war dance is likewise baffling, particularly when Dick Cheney says Saddam can't be trusted - even though, not too long ago, he was trusted to the tune of $73 million during Halliburton/Iraq transactions. Moreover, newly discovered memos reveal that Cheney was also involved in a 1975 cover-up involving the CIA's mind-control experiment, MK-ULTRA. Back then, the government paid $750,000 restitution to Army biochemist Dr. Frank Olson's family, after admitting the CIA slipped Dr. Olson LSD days before his 1953 fall from a New York City building. When the Ford administration finally came clean, they promised they'd revealed everything. Yet according to an article in the "Mercury News," (Scientist's death haunts family, August 8, 2002) key officials, including White House aides Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld pushed to continue to conceal information.

But not only has the government tried to control people's minds, they've copped to controlling the media, too. Operation Mockingbird, the CIA's plan to infiltrate America's newsrooms, was such a success that former CIA director William Colby boasted, "the Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any major significance in the major media." Carl Bernstein substantiated this, revealing that hundreds of journalists and news organizations were involved in this subversion. And though officials have admitted to planting fabrications in the past, it seems they're still at it. Remember the story about the terrorist's passport surviving the fiery crash into the World Trade Center? What could that be but government-issued pabulum? And what else but full-scale public brainwashing accounts for the rash of Stepford Citizen Syndrome spreading throughout the country?

Which brings us to the case in point. Researchers have identified the following symptoms. If you overhear anyone making the following statements, assume they've been brainwashed and intervene immediately:

1) "George Bush is a decent man."

Abraham Lincoln once said, "[I]f you want to test a man's character, give him power." If he steals power, however, the nature of his character is no longer in question. This week's out of court settlement with the NAACP over Florida's foray into election fraud confirms BBC's Greg Palast's report that the election was rigged. Yet pundits ignore this travesty, while referring to Dubya's decency in much the same way our ancestors spoke of Earth's flatness. Overlooking our thrice-arrested president's blatant disregard for civil rights, human rights and the environment, they continue to downplay scandals and downgrade their role as protectors of the public trust. But with oft-repeated quips like, "lucky me, I hit the trifecta" and "if this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier," G.W. offers a glimpse at his indecent inner frat boy. Especially revealing was a Talk Magazine interview, in which he mimicked death row inmate Karla Faye Tucker. "Please," Bush whimpered, mocking Tucker's plea for clemency, "don't kill me." Gallows humor is only funny when those telling jokes don't have the power to save people from the gallows.

2) "I have faith in our system of checks and balances."

Certainly, the uproar over Operation TIPs and recent court decisions on FBI abuses and secret deportation hearings are healthy signs. Except, of course, that controversial findings against Ashcroft's Justice Department will most likely be appealed before the same felonious five who handed down the 2000 selection. Chief Justice Rehnquist has already warned that, "in times of war, the laws are silent." Then, too, though the Constitution grants Congress the sole right to declare war, since 1948, America has been involved in approximately 250 military incursions without one single declaration of war. The Bush regime has already said they don't need Congress' approval on Iraq. So much for checks and balances.

3) "We have to defend ourselves, and the war on terrorism is the only way to do that."

Anyone who believes this war is simply a drive to eradicate terrorism must be brainwashed. The U.S. has been building military bases along proposed oil pipeline routes, and has its eye on the oil and gas reserves in the Caspian Sea region. All anyone need do is read Zbigniew Brzezinski's "The Grand Chessboard" or brush up on the Wolfowitz Doctrine to understand the not-so-hidden agenda behind U.S foreign policy. In recent appearance on Crossfire, Insight Magazine's Jamie Dettmer deftly addressed America's aim to control the oil fields in Iraq. "Nobody has suggested the United States is going into Iraq to control the oil," Tucker Carlson asserted, leaving some to wonder if Tucker's bow tie isn't too tight. "Let's not be unsophisticated about this," Dettmer replied, warning that, "in the end, if America doesn't restrain itself, [it's] going to provoke groupings of countries which will restrain America instead."

4) "Since September 11, George Bush has shown strong leaderships skills."

Since September 11, George Bush has led us away from progressive policies and alienated us from the rest of the world. British papers describe the biggest rift between Europe and the U.S. in more than 50 years, 85 percent of Germans no longer trust America, and veteran reporter Helen Thomas bemoans how, "friends and allies wonder what's happened to the United States." Our $7 trillion surplus has followed the president's example and gone AWOL, while unemployment, crime and intellectual numbness are on the rise. Under Bush's "leadership," the U.S. has become the kid who picks his nose in class. Those of us who love America are embarrassed; others are repulsed.

5) "Europeans don't agree with us because they're effete appeasers."

Europeans don't agree with us because we're wrong. They understand the geopolitical motivations behind this war, as their press isn't as censored. In America, however, stories about Enron's involvement in the proposed oil and gas pipeline though Afghanistan were squashed, and if you wanted to know about the Taliban's trip to Texas, you had to learn about it in the National Enquirer rather than on Meet the Press.

6) "George Bush's administration is filled with solid, foreign policy pros."

Aside from Colin Powell, George Bush's cabinet is swarming with neo-conservative ideologues who'd be clamoring for an attack on Iraq even if the atrocities of 9/11 hadn't occurred. Despite the chorus of countries opposed, Dick Cheney unilaterally forges ahead, while Donald Rumsfeld says he's certain America will receive backing from the international community. Meanwhile, the international community scratches its head and wonders what's become of our once great nation.

7) "George Bush is doing an excellent job in the war on terror."

Given limited media coverage, how would anyone know? Unless one digs through foreign press and alternative media reports, there's little to go by. When one reads reports from journalists like Seymour Hersh, however, a different picture emerges. Stability in Afghanistan is but a myth, warlords carry out atrocities without intervention, and the State Department is forced to guard President Karzai. Meanwhile, many warn that Bush's plans for Iraq could lead to Armageddon. Yet "Bush is doing an excellent job in the war on terror?" How?

8) "People who say the Bush administration 'let 9/11 happen' are conspiracy nuts."

Forget the president's odd behavior on September 11. Ignore that jets weren't scrambled from Andrews Airforce base, or that the FBI reportedly thwarted investigations. Pretend there are no connections between the Bushes, bin Ladens and the Saudis or that Bush ..41 doesn't profit from this war through his connections with the Carlyle Group. Imagine, for a moment, it doesn't matter that those heading the closed-door investigation into 9/11 met twice with the former Pakistan intelligence chief, who reportedly helped finance Mohammed Atta. And never mind that, despite warnings, only 14 planes were defending our mainland on September 11. These oddities could be explained through coincidence and incompetence rather than complicity.

That said, remember this: After World War II, the CIA recruited Nazi scientists to share information later used in the aforementioned MK-Ultra program. In the '60s, the Pentagon drafted plans to kill American citizens and blame it on Castro as a pretext for war with Cuba. And Army-based concentration camps aren't merely a gleam in Ashcroft's eye. The brainwashed are conditioned to hear "conspiracy" and shut down, however, immediately deducing information isn't true and the messenger is daft. But even Bill Clinton reportedly asked Webster Hubbell to find answers to two questions: "One, who killed JFK? And, two, are there UFOs? " He never found out. And odds are we won't either. Even so, it's not crazy to demand an independent investigation into 9/11. Nor is it nuts to wonder why the administration is doing everything in its power to make certain we never uncover what went wrong.

9) "The media is liberal."

Ann Coulter complains about the liberal media through the "liberal media," where she's regularly given a forum, yet Michael Moore has appeared on less than a handful of shows, though his book's been a bestseller for six months. During the election, the corporately-controlled media portrayed Al Gore in a negative light, while touting Bush's phony ranch-hand charm, and according to a report in F.A.I.R (Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting), 75 % of the dominant sources of opinion on all three major networks are Republican. Yet the brainwashed continue to believe the media has a liberal bias. Go figure.

10) "Saddam has weapons of mass destruction!"

This phrase has replaced, "Saddam gassed his own people!" as the ..1 mantra of war-mongering dittoheads. But despite former weapons' inspector Scott Ritter's assertion that there's no proof Hussein has amassed weapons of mass destruction, Dick Cheney says there's "no doubt" he's got them and plans to use them. During the Cuban missile crisis, John F. Kennedy relayed photographic evidence proving the Soviet Union was up to no good. Where's the proof now? Why hasn't the administration won over our allies? Why do so many doubt there is "no doubt?"

Latest polls indicate that nearly half of all Americans believe the First Amendment "goes too far," proving that Stepford Citizen Syndrome is now a national crisis. We have an obligation to rouse our loved ones out of their stupor. If we don't, the thugs who've stolen America will steam-roll right over us. And if you can't see that, chances are, you're brainwashed.

So..... An update on my Job situation that has been a rollercoaster over the past few months. I am basically in limbo waiting for the option to come back on board to keep my job. After relocating to New jersey, than coming back to Florida I have been in this perpetual state of "who knows where my job is" Hopefully, this will all calm down in the coming months, I will keep you posted!

New York's Highest Court to Rule on Gay Marriages
Sign In to E-Mail This Print Reprints Save By ANEMONA HARTOCOLLIS
Published: July 4, 2006
In what one legal scholar called a contest between judicial hearts and minds, parsing of legal texts and private sympathies, New York's highest court is expected to rule Wednesday on whether to permit gay and lesbian marriages in the state.

There are several directions the Court of Appeals could take, lawyers said. The most sweeping would be a clear affirmation of a constitutional right of same-sex couples to marry, which would make New York the second state in the nation after Massachusetts to allow such marriages. In that case, the court could order the Legislature to rewrite the state's marriage law.

Stephen Gillers, a law professor at New York University, suggested that a majority of the six judges deciding the case — a seventh recused himself — are personally sympathetic to what the plaintiffs are asking for. But the issue, he said, will be how they read New York State's marriage law, the state constitution, and legal precedents, which are all different from those in Massachusetts.

"The question will be where will their brains be," Mr. Gillers said this week. "The question is whether they can intellectually do what I think intuitively and emotionally they'd like to do."

Supporters have been waiting eagerly for the decision.

"On the one hand, if there is a victory in the case, it would be a great and historic day," said Roberta A. Kaplan, one of the lawyers who argued for gay marriage before the high court in May. "On the other hand, I'm sure we'll all look at this issue five years from now and say, what was the big deal? Because there is a clear line of authority now moving in our direction." One "friend of the court" brief arguing against same-sex marriage said that opposition "is not rooted in animus towards gay and lesbians," but in the conviction that "only opposite-sex unions can both create the next generation and connect those children to the mother and father who made them."

The court could also take a more administrative tack, by simply ruling that words like "husband" and "wife" in the marriage code should be changed to gender-neutral words like "spouse."

The decision expected today would combine four different lawsuits, representing 44 gay and lesbian couples around New York State. The highest-profile case is Hernandez v. Robles, in which five couples are suing New York City's clerk, who issues marriage licenses. It is the only case in which plaintiffs have won a victory in the lower courts.

In that case, state Supreme Court Justice Doris Ling-Cohan ruled in February 2005 that state marriage law violated the due-process and equal-protection clauses of the state constitution. The appellate division overturned her decision last December, saying that it was up to the Legislature to change the state's traditional views of marriage and family. That court called marriage between biological parents, "the optimal situation for child-rearing."

Neither side in the case was willing to handicap the outcome, but lawyers noted that the Court of Appeals has a long history of trailblazing, going back to a golden age in the 1920's under Chief Judge Benjamin Cardozo.

Even now that Gov. Pataki, a Republican, has appointed four of its seven members, the court is still seen as one of the more progressive in the country, legal experts said.

Professor Gillers said that on issues that can be perceived as liberal or conservative, such as gay rights and the death penalty, the New York court's "center of gravity" is about the same as that of the high court in Massachusetts, the Supreme Judicial Court.

That court ruled in 2003 that it was unconstitutional to deny same-sex couples the right to marry. Thousands of gay and lesbian couples have been married there since 2004.

The New York court could also reach a compromise position by finding that the current law is a violation of equal protection, but ruling that establishment of civil union, rather than full-scale marriage, for same-sex partners would be enough to cure the violation.

Even if the court rules that gay and lesbian New Yorkers do not have a state constitutional right to marry their partners, advocates said the litigation — and the attention it has attracted — have moved public opinion closer to their position on the issue.

Polls show a slight rise in the percentage of New Yorkers who favor allowing gay marriage — to just over half — in the last three years, while the percentage opposing it has decreased sharply to just over one-third, advocates said.

The plaintiffs have received friend-of-the-court briefs supporting their position from such establishment groups as the New York City Bar Association, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, dozens of New York law professors (including Mr. Gilles), the American Psychological Association, the NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund, and a number of religious organizations including Episcopal, United Methodist, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, Unitarian and Reform Jewish groups.

Friend-of-the-court briefs opposing same-sex marriage came from James Q. Wilson, professor emeritus at the University of California, among other public policy, legal and family scholars; the New York State Catholic Conference; the Family Research Council, a lobbying group; and the New York State Conservative Party, among others, according to New York City's corporation counsel.

The Wilson brief argues that as the connection between marriage and procreation weakens, communities face higher rates of poverty, crime, welfare dependency, child abuse, unwed teenage motherhood, education failures and other social problems.

A compromise ruling establishing civil union but not marriage would fall short of what the plaintiffs want. They argue that such an arrangement relegates gay and lesbian couples to second-class citizenship — an argument the Massachusetts court agreed with.

Three of the six judges sitting in the New York case were appointed by a Democratic governor, Mario Cuomo, and three by Governor Pataki, a Republican, suggesting an even split between liberals and conservatives. But legal scholars said the court has a history of independence, and tie votes have been very rare. This case is expected to follow that pattern.

One of the judges, George Bundy Smith, a Cuomo appointee, is seeking reappointment in September. But lawyers said he is unlikely to pull any punches for the sake of reappointment, because as a liberal member of the court, in conflict with Gov. Pataki's goal of solidifying his conservative majority, his chances of remaining on the court may be small anyway.

In an indication of its progressive tradition, the New York court overturned the state's anti-sodomy statute in 1980, more than two decades before the United States Supreme Court struck down Texas's anti-sodomy laws, in the case of Lawrence v. Texas, in 2002. Four years ago, New York's court struck down the state's death penalty, albeit on a technicality in the law.

"So that just shows the very disparate views of culture and tradition in this state, as opposed to the rest of the country," Ms. Kaplan said.

Even though the plaintiffs in New York are raising state constitutional issues rather than federal ones, the Supreme Court's Texas ruling could have an impact on New York's gay marriage ruling.

During oral arguments, one of the New York judges, Robert S. Smith, asked whether the plaintiffs agreed with Justice Antonin Scalia in Lawrence v. Texas. In his dissent, Justice Scalia wrote that by removing the moral justification for anti-sodomy laws, the Supreme Court had opened the way for recognition of same-sex marriage.

4th of July

The 4th of July falls on a Tuesday this year, which means we have to come in on Mondayinstead od having a long weekend.... never the less, I am happy to have the day off tomorrow!!

The 4rth has always been the celebration of this fine country of ours, I don't know if I see it like that but of well, another reason to drink beer and hang out!!

Gay Marriage

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/28/dobson.gaymarriage/index.html

I was reading a commentary by a CNN reporter and am disapointed by the attitude of this individual. Sometimes I wonder where all the gay people are? Where are the gay people who care about these issues and the fact that thier country does not care about who they are? How is it in 2006, people like this are still talking in mainstream media proclaiming marriage is actually something to protect, or that marriage came from the "Creator" What the hell????? Sometimes I think the task is just so overwhelming most choose to ignore it, why bother some may say. Gay people tend to be self hating, self obsorbed crack heads, yes I am harsh!! We don't have time to worry about anything else, we invest all of our time proving to the world we should not be taken seriously. We prance around in cities all over the world in Huge numbers for Gay Pride, but you will rarely see more than 1,000 gay people protest local government. We go into debt to attend a circuit parties in Orlando, but could care less Tallahassee bans us from adopting children?? This is the reason why mainstream america could care less about Gay people, we don't care. Mainstream america is such a contridiction in everything it does, it should be easy to explain our case.... but we dont...

Why is it so hard to prove to Straight people, Gay people really do not have a choice about being Homosexual. Do straight people have a a choice? I think if you asked anyone who was straight, did you have a choice about who you could fall in love with.. they would tell you no. So I would ask any Straight person to prove that Gay people have this gift of choice. If we had the choice why do we have the choice and Str8 people don't. Everyone from Geroge Bush to the Pope should be Bisexual and we all will have the choice


Just some ranting and raving today.. thats all ):

Cities I have been too this year

Lying..... and the lying liars

Although this happened about a month ago I was thinking about it today... Why are some people nothing but compulsive lying freaks. You know who I am talking about!! The people who lie when there was never any real reason for doing so! I happen to know one of these people, In fact, I dated one of these people a long time ago.. Well not that long ago I am not that old, but a while ago!! While in another city I happended to know this individual was visiting on vacation and they had mentioned they would like to meet up while they were in town, town being NYC!!

I have to admit I was excited to see a familiar face, I was up there by myself!! Instead this person made up this ridiculous lie, almost a joke.. It was obvious this person had no idea what Broadway was, they mentioned they were going to see 3 shows in one night and they had multiple tickets, not possible for those of us who know anything about a show!!

Anyway, why would he lie, you may ask? I am not sure but I have a few guesses. One.. He has the inablility to live a life that is truthful, embarrassed by most of his decisions so he makes up shit as he goes along. Why would he be embarrassed?, good question!! He has been in a relaionship and he has refused to admit he actually is in one probably because they are a mess together, I really have no idea as I don't live anywhere near them. Maybe he was in NyC for a romantic getaway, great why not just say that it would be so much easier than lying.

However, you wanna look at, he is a mess!! Why not just TELL THE TRUTH? Maybe he does not like me if thats the case it is easy to tell me to bug off, that's the idea isn't it? I guess I am just confused about the entire situation and how people can live there life in such a twisted mess of lies. I think I am disapointed more than anything. Whenever someone gives you the cold shoulder, you always question yourself. I always wanted to make sense out of a relationship that was horrible from the begining and tried to convince myself there was a reason why I dated this person.

This entire situation tells me something about myself!! I always give people the benefit of the dought, but sometimes it is pointless. People come and go in your life without reason and sometimes they were meant to be out of your life. I think I always tried to maintain a relationship because it seemed like the best thing to do. I realized that it is not, some people are just never meant to be in your life and therefore are not worth the effort. It is easy to hate people and hard to let it go.. but when you do fuck it, it's not worth your time.

Dave in Tampa

So... here I am again back in Tampa, I guess this place has a magical force that just inspires me to come back again and again, NOT SURE? Anyway, I am happy to be back regardless of the hurdles I will probably face in the coming months. I may not have a job, well at least the same one I have had for over a year. I also may end up without any money which comes from not having a job I suppose. I am pretty sure I will hav enough time to find something else if I absolutly have too, but I hope that I do not. I like the company I am working for and would hate to just throw it all away, but I dont have any other choice if they dont offer me something soon!! I think I have realized something through all of this, don't ever get too comfortable, things are always changing!!

New York

I can't believe I have been here for a month already! It seems like I moved here yesterday. The time is flying by and I guess that could be a good thing if I plan on going back to Florida. I am finally getting somewhat settled in and have found some good resturants in the New Brunswick area. I am still looking for an apartment which is making me nervous considering I only have about a week before I have to move out of my Temp housing.

The weather has been horrible here and I was always told that Spring time up north was beautiful, NO IT IS NOT!!! The weather is Manic or Bi polar constantly changing and rarely sunny!! I have been telling myself everyday that I am going to look at this as a positive experience and try to enjoy myself, BUT....... I am not so sure I will like it up here!! The move is new and it will take me a while to get adjusted at least 6 months to a year.

I have tried to head to the city at least once a week to familiarize myself to the area. I have ventured out to Chelsea, The Village and Times Square. Although the city has been a lot of fun I would like to have someone to go to the city with!!!

DAVE IN THE CITY

I have been so busy moving anf flying all over the place that I have not really had time to write in here.

My first few weeks in after the move I have been traveling all over the place Tampa- NYC- MOntreal- NYc- Chicago- NYC all within a week and a half. This week has been the first week I have actually had time to settle in and check out my surroundings. I am still looking for an apt and have a founf a few places that seem promising. I am honestly excited and wierded out at the same time about being here. I am wondering what posesssed me to move here in the first place.

IT HIT ME

Today, I am sitting here at my desk and it is just now hitting me that I am moving to New Jersey. I was thinking about it a little this weekend and realized I haven't stayed in any city longer than 3 years. Although this is not a move I had planned, it is a move none the less. Today, all the moving expenses are starting to materialize and I dont know If I'm going to have enough money to do this entire move. the cost of moving even with the company paying for a good chunk is still going to be pretty expensive. I find myself making decisions lately without putting much thought into it, mostly because there are too many decisions!!! Now, I am faced with the task of starting over in a new city making new friends and I havent even dealt with it at all. Now, I am!! IT has all of sudden reared it's head at me and the reality of moving 1600 hundred miles away has finally

  

Friday!!!!!

Thank god today is Friday!! The weeks have been going so slowly since i have found out I was offered a position in NJ. I think It may be because I fell like this will now be a temporary situation. I'm getting a little more excited everyday and am looking forward to some new scenery, new faces, and something differant!!

I've been trying to talk Jason into moving up with me, I kow that it is hard to just pack up everything and just go!! I know he would not have a hard timer finding a job up there but I also understand his apprehension. I'm sure he will be reading this so while I have his attention I would like to say regardless of what happens we will still be together! I'm not just going to up and leave and that was never my intention!! I know it seems like that sometimes but I want you to remember that this was not something I planned on doing, and I think it may end up working out for the best for both of us!!!

In other news, I found out my Aunt is filing for a divorce in San Fransisco!! I'm not very close to my family so this does not effect me a great deal but there is something somewhat interesting about this, almost every single child of my G-parents has filed for divorce!! The only couple still together is Dave & Julie, Just thought that was interesting.

I guess I will go back to work now, cheers

CNN.com - For sale: Dr. Phil's Ferrari and Porsche - Mar 3, 2006

CNN.com - For sale: Dr. Phil's Ferrari and Porsche - Mar 3, 2006

I think Oprah may havemade a mistake when she decided to endorse this guy!! The purveyor of descent living and living within your means apparently has lost some of his wealth by being a complete jack ass!! This guy has cheated on his wife, talks shit about everyone else's life!! This just goes to show you that you should try to live your life as a GENUINE person don't let anyone tell you how to live your life, they may not know all the answers!!!

More than one!!!

Well I have been offered three jobs!! I'm really not sure which one to take

New Job

Well It is official, I have been offered a job in New Jersey!! I dont know if I am excited scared or a little of both!!! There is so much to think about I am not sure where to begin!!! First, the pay is significantlly higher than what i am making in Tampa, good news!!!

I am pretty sure I will be going up there on my own and I dont know anyone in the company who has decided to go to New Jersey!! Everyone is going to Atlanta and Houston!!! I'm not sure what will happen with Jason and I? I would like him to come but he has a life here in Tampa and I dont think he will go!!

Interview.....

I had my interview today, not totally sure how it went?? The gentleman who gave the interview spoke very little English so it was difficult to get a reading from him. The position is directly related to my current position so I am somewhat comfortable with what the requirements will be. I am looking forward to the out come which will prob be sometime in mid march, wish me luck!!!

President Bush

I'm sorry to say this man has absolutely no political skills and he also has no agenda, no plan!! I cannot believe that this country voted for such a complete idiot. I'm so mad as I am sad at the state of this country, I feel let down. I must say I never expected much from George Bush to think you should be taking vacations for 5 weeks when this country is falling apart boggles my mind. The vice president who recently shot his friend in the face was out in Texas shooting animals while people are still living in Tents in New Orleans. i watched a program yesterday that broke my heart, people living in an apartment building that did not have a roof. down the street thousands of brand new FEMA trailers sitting empty. I know fixing some of this issues are monumental but there is no plan, no agenda and that makes me very sad knowing I live in this country.

What's going on?

I'm so over all the news and all the BS that is dished out in the media these days!! I hope in the future we will evolve into something a literally more compassionate and caring. I watched the morning news this morning and there were literally 20 story's about Murder, rape, and anything else horrible. I watched a Preacher on Sunday preach about the "HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA", was I not informed of this agenda? Sadly, I don't even want to turn on the TV anymore it is so... Depressing and it seems like it coming from every angle. I feel so drained from watching the news on any given day!!!!

A New beginning... Something to start

I know this may seem dumb to some people but for me it makes sense, doing the impossible, doing the pos/neg the ying yang, the opposite of everything that has ever defined me, that's what I want to start and am not afraid of!! I have heard over and over again, are you sure you want to move to NY? Are you sure?? I think I have moved over 20 times in my life, maybe more!!! One thing I know for certain, People are always people no matter where you go!! In America they still drive on the left, and speak English. No matter where you go or what you do the only thing anyone could ever guarantee you in your life is .......... Ready for this???? "CHANGE!!!!!" Change is the only thing in life that is guaranteed other than death of course!!! I have watched people who have looked at moving as if it was just out of the question or they want to move to a place closely resembling where they come from. As if staying in the same place for ever is somehow rewarding for some people, bothers others!!!

Vacation... ?

Today was my first day of vacation and it was nice. I think Tampa was it's finest today, 70 degress no cloud in the sky!! ironic considering the company relocation meeting was today. I'm so torn inside about moving I'm not sure what the right decision is?? I have always wanted to take the plunge and just take off for the northeast, it seems thats where it all began!! My concern, I dont feel like thats where it will all end!! I think Florida has soo.... much more oppurtuniy for growth, potential etc etc... Everywhere you look constructiion is everywhere!!! New york is the place everyone moves away from, not move too!!! i HAVE GROWNUP HEARING THAT STORY LIVING IN FLORIDA WATCHING THE MASS MIGRATION!! I am however a Floridian, someone who has ived here my entire life, in just about every location. Miami, Ft Laudaerdale, Tampa, Spring Hill, Clearwater. What is going to happen to me if i go? am i going to like such a huge change?? I think everyone should challenge themselves occasionally, it helps you get out of yourself for a bit!! i dont really know anyone who is considering the move to NY, everyone wants to go to Atlanta

New Jersey

Never in my life did I think I would ever move to new jersey, but I am now!! I am looking forward to the opportunity to get out of Florida, the place I have lived my entire life. I am open to change and think it will be good for me to go somewhere new. I wanted to go somewhere that was dynamic enough to keep me from complaining about what the city does not have. I would be moving to NYC where evidencing is available!! I'm positive I will have little to complain about other than the weather!! I'm a little scared I will hate it and want to move back right away!! Florida has everything that could ever want, well at least all I have ever known!!

When will I know??

I am getting a nervous about the unknown. I am nervous I will not have a job in a few months and will need to look again for something else to pay the bills

Condo Developer Adds More Details On Units, Parking

Condo Developer Adds More Details On Units, Parking

Anyone that lives in Tampa has been amazed by all the growth, here is another project!!

Myspace.com

Myspace.com

Active WebCam Page

This is me ck it out

Read more at 192.168.1.101:8082/Java...

NYC...... So........ Expensive

I have always known New York would be expensive but I'm finding the prices to be somewhat discouraging. I have been looking in places like Hoboken and Piscataway and everything is Over 1500 dollars a month, some of that would be my half of the rent!!! I'm not going to give up on the Big Apple though I think It would be a great place to try out!!

New City

What a differance a year makes!! I am now faced with the task of trying to keep my job #1 and #2 try to find a city that I will actually want to live in!! Jason and i have no idea what to do about the move and I'm not so sure moving would be the best decision. I have never been a huge fan of Tampa but over the years I have become comfortable here.

I have quite a few options from Atlanta, Houston, Ny, and Chicago. I cant make up my mind!!

Atlanta 3 1/2 Million People

Pro's

Close to Tampa(7 hrs)
Good weather, not too cold
Big enough to keep me entertained
Mountains/ Parks/ Recreation
Stone Mtn
Livily scene
cheap

Con's
The South
No Beach!!
No Family, Friends
Nothing really near by
bad job market
The South
Too Far Inland

Houston 6 Million

Pros
Beach close by
Mexico Near by
BIG CITY 4th largest in USA
2nd highest fortune 500 companys in country

Con's
It's Texas
No Family, Friends
It's Texas!!


Chicago 4 Million cit, 8 million metro

Pros
Family Close By
Beach close by
Huge City, 3rd largest
Great Downtown
Oprah
Good scene


Con's
Midwest
nothing really near by
Beach is a lake
cold as hell!!!
Expensive

NYC 8 million in city, 30 million metro

Pro's
Huge city
best Downtown
great scene
jobs everywhere
Beach near by
Great Public Transportation
Culture, Times square
3 hrs to Washington
1/2 to Philly
Train ride to Boston

Con's
Very Expensive
Too many people
Dirty
long commute
live in New jersey
Cold as hell
Traffic

If you have a suggestion, please feel free to add to my list!!! Thanks

Cars

So.. I have been dealing with my car trying to get it fixed and i have had nothing but trouble doing so. I decided to take my car to Ice cold air where they proceded to convince me all kinds of bs and try to totally rip me off. I'm disapointed but think it is probably for the best, that car was doomed from the beginning!! Anyway, I was disapointed with the service i recieved from Ice cold air not because of the cost but just the handling of the situation so I emailed them and this is just some of the email


David,

I did not reply to your email to upset you.I do apologize for that. I clearly wanted to advise you that I did look into your complaint. I did not mean "I'm sorry there is nothing we can do" to be cruel. Each Ice Cold Air location is an individually owned franchise. When there is a problem we like to know about it and hope to be able to help you, but the solution to your complaint will have to be taken up with the owner Rick at (813) 835-7283.

I do apologize for any confusion my email may have implied.

Hope you have a great weekend!
From: Peek, David [mailto:David.Peek@cpships.com] Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:36 PMTo: Lisa LutzSubject: RE: Service
Lisa,
I was not advising that "something should be done" I'm advising on the customer service that was provided. You mentioned that you looked over the work order. I specifically wrote in my email that I was not comfortable with your employees doing anymore work when they clearly stated they did not know why it was not working. I went into the store the day he advised me "he thought it may be the fuel pump" and never stated it was the fuel pump. When I called him this afternoon he Lied and stated he clearly said it was the fuel pump, no he did not. I cannot believe that this is the correspondence I receive after emailing a concern to your company. I did not ask for anything when I wrote the email I was clearly stating my experience with your employee. Stating "I'm sorry there is nothing you can do" is not an acceptable explanation for why your employees gave me the run around about an electrical problem. Yes, I would like the owner at this point. please provide your contact information for the owner and please forward this email that you sent to me to him as well.

David Peek
-----Original Message-----From: Lisa Lutz [mailto:llutz@icecoldair.net]Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:14 PMTo: Peek, DavidSubject: RE: Service
David,

I spoke with Robin at the Ice Cold Air in Westshore and he faxed me your work order. It states that you authorized the work to be done, and that you declined a new fuel pump to be installed. I am sorry, but there is nothing we at Corporate are able to do for you. You would have to speak with the owner if you have any further questions.

Thank you,
Ice Cold Air Inc.
From: david.peek@cpships.com [mailto:david.peek@cpships.com] Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:13 PMTo: info@icecoldair.netSubject: Service
===========SENDER'S DETAILS===========Email from David Peek,IP:205.172.203.125,USER AGENT:Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)ADDRESS:6401 S Westshore BlvdTELEPHONE:813-388-0364FAX:===========SENDER'S DETAILS===========To whom this may concern I was recently referred to your Westshore location by my roommates Family for some auto work. They explained they had taken their vehicles to this location many times before and were happy with the service that was offered. I am new to the area and did not know of anyone to take a look at a vehicle that I planned on giving to someone instead of trading in for a new vehicle. The car, 96 Chevy cavalier had many problems, mainly the electrical system had some sort of issue that your service personnel were working on. After the first day, they explained the car would need some specific parts and they would "proceed from that point" after that point the gentleman proceeded to tell me he would need to charge 50 dollars an hour to locate the problem. I do not have a specific complaint about the cost I understand there is a cost involved in locating the problem but I do have a problem with the way he handles the situation. First thing, Do not tell ! a customer " electrical readings make no sense, I have never seen anything like that before!!" or " Sir, It looks like your fuel pump is causing the ignition computer to completely malfunction, I have never seen that happen before but that is what it appears to be!!" I'm not a mechanic but my uncle happens to be one in Spring Hill Florida. After talking to your employee I called and asked him what he thought of this situation. He explained that it's possible to be the problem but only if the car was running, the car was never running according to your employee at the service counter. regardless of the situation I would like to ask who would continue to pay for Labor when the person who is supposed to be knowledgeable about vehicles keeps advising he has never "seen those types of readings from the diagnostic computer". If he has never seen those readings than why is he working on vehicles. Vehicles have running parts which either work or do not work. I do not think an! employee of an Auto shop should expect someone to trust his w! ork or h is integrity when he keeps telling you over and over he has never seen this before. I am now charged with a Bill of over 200 dollars for this gentleman to basically tell me "I have never seen readings like this" with no sense of confidence in what he was advising. I would ask you to think of yourself as the customer with someone advising you in this way, would you continue to let someone work on your vehicle? I am very disappointed with this service and I will not return. I have also explained what has happened to my roommate who advised me to go here in the first place. His father said he will also think twice about taking his vehicle to your location his name is . Martinez I appreciate your time Best Regards, David M. Peek

New Years in Ft Lauderdale 2006

I already wrote this blog for some odd reason the entire blog was erased! I can't believe I'm going to write again about the same exact thing, maybe I will make it more interesting this time!! Last weekend Jason and I went along with Patrick and Elvis to Ft Lauderdale. I had a great time and it was nice to go down again and see everything basically looking exactly the same except 40 or more Skyscrapers. I cannot believe how fast it is growing down there it seems like there is something new everyday!
we went to quite a few malls ate at cheesecake factory and went to the coliseum(lauderdales drug fest) The club looks totally different when you are just there to do a little dancing.
Ft Lauderdale would not be the same without a little DRAMA. Patrick's truck was towed and we spent a good hour driving around ft Lauderdale looking for an atm to pay the 100 dollars to get it out. Overall though that was a small price to pay for visiting a place where they seem to charge you for practically everything!
I think road trips are a good way to get to know people better and I never knew how witty Patrick is. I knew he was pretty funny at times but some of the things he was saying on the way were hilarious. I would share them with all of you but it wouldn't be funny unless you were there.

Good Bye 2005!!!!!!

I was thinking about what I was going to change for the New Year today and have decided on the following!!!! First thing, Get back into shape - Just joined the gym today!! Second thing, Get all my finances in order... And finally Take a very cool well deserved vacation.

I don't think the goals I have listed are that difficult and am looking forward to making all of them for 2006!! I'm buying a GYM membership for Jason so he can help me stay motivated. I look at it this way, we became fat together, we can do the opposite as well together!! I dont think I could do it alone considering all the temptation to sit around and do NOTHING!! I think it will be a little easier than expected considering I have always been in shape and it seems all of the sudden, BLAH (:

Anyway, Have a good New Years I will be in South Florida See you in 2006

Back to work

Wow, the Holiday's are over already, I think they went way to fast!! I decided to spend the holiday''s at the apartment this year and I ended up hanging out with Jason's family. I was a bit nervous because of Jason's dad but I had a good time getting to know everyone. Jason's family is friendly so it wasn't hard.
As t he year comes to an end I am getting nervous about the transition of CP ship's and am wondering if I will still have a job in a few months. The take over seemed far away but it really isnt!! I am not sure what I am going to do yet but I really think change is good in the long run so hopefully I will getting into something a bit more exciting!!

Night before Christmas, well Christmas eve

I can't believe I will be 28 years old tomorrow!! I don't know what happened to 24 25 26 or 27!! It is amazing how fast time just flies by!! I am not really in the festive mood this year to be perfectly honest and Christmas definitly does not feel like anything more than an extra day off!! I am not trying to be cynical, I think I am too young to be acting like an old grumpy man but unfortunately I really feel that way!! I wish I could get into the holiday spirit and really I have a lot to be thank full for, but to me, its just another day!!
I have received a couple of Birthday and xmas cards from my family and sadly they don't mean a lot to me any more. How can a card or an email ever make you feel like you are related to them? How can you buy gifts for people you never talk to? Why bother?? Why bother buying someone a gift when you really don't know who they are?? Everytime I go to visit my family for the Holidays I never know what to buy these people and they definitely don't know who I am. How could they? I don't hear from them for the other 11 months 29 days!!

I really have come to the realization I really don't have a lot to say my family and Vice versa. As much as I say I would like to spend more time with them, I really don't! What would I do or say? We have nothing in common. Well anyway, enough bitching for one evening Happy Holidays

MONDAY!!!!!

Ihad the horrible experience of losing my keys!! I think it always seems to occur when you are about walk out the door. I decided to walk the dog this morning to burn off some of that energy he has. I came back at about 10:00 am and took a shower for work. When I was ready to leave I went to the usual spot to get my keys but they were not there. I do not have a spare set of keys so I was stuck in the apartment. I completely tore the apartment apart looking for my keys but unfortunately they were not in the apartment, they were in Jason's pocket over at Net park. Jason had accidentally taken my keys with him to work leaving me stranded and Very Irritated. Anyway, I did not get into work until 12:30 "sigh"
Sadly, my day has not been going great so I have determined this is not a good day, PERIOD!!!
The weekend was pretty good. I went to the movie's Friday night to see Narnia which had great special effects and pretty good plot. Saturday, I went with Jason to Patrick and Elvis's get together. I did not thing they would fit everyone in the house with the Giant redwood tree they have in the living room but everyone fit without a problem

Traffic Tickets

So.... I have tried to fight a traffic ticket without success. I went to the court not expecting the cop to actually show up but he did!! The cop who pulled me over was the only police officer that showed up to court today, irritating!!! I have been reset to have another trial in March of 2006. I cannot believe how long this can actually drag on and on and on!!! I was also assessed a fee not showing up on the original day which I had never received a court date in the mail. I would really like to win the case either way and I have heard that it is easier to fight them when you go back the second time! I am determined to keep the points off of my license!!! Anyone who knows a good Lawyer for civil infractions give me a call !!!!!!

In other news, Christmas is approaching fast and I have not bought anything for anyone except Jason. sadly I am really not in the mood for xmas shopping for people I never see, I have no idea what to buy them and I think it has always been pointless to buy people things without putting any thought into it!! I'm sure my family will make a big deal about my "no show" for the holidays but I think this year it is better to be absent than nasty.

Tampa at night

Company Meeting

Today was our team meeting and it was pretty informative. The company I work for has been bought out and my future with this company is uncertain. I am not sure where I will go or where they will operate my department. They have locations all over the world so it is hard to pin point a specific location. I have heard rumors they will be opening up an office here in Tampa, that would be great! I would rather stay here for the time being and re locate at another time. The company has three main offices in the US, Houston, Atlanta, and New York. The only place I would be interested in moving to would be NYC, but well have to see how this all works out!! Until than I just go to work as usual!!!

Xmas Party

I've been having some trouble finding the time to really put anything down in on this blog. Most my thought's are not suitable for publishing on the internet. Although, I like to keep a journal and do not mind people reading about my life, sometimes I think I could be a little too forthcoming about what is going on or how I may be feeling about any random situation.

Every year around this time I become confused about my ablility to have a a relationship with my family. I honestly have no desire to visit or spend the day with them on the holidays and I really feel terrible about feeling that way. I never hear from them the other 11 1/2 months out of the year and I guess that is why I dont put any real effort in making it up to Spring Hill for Christmas. I lied to my mother and told her I have to work, I think I am speaking her language by using work as an excuse. My mothers excuse for everything is she is too busy, because she has to work, as if no one else on earth has a job!

I dont know what it is but something just does not feel right, I dont know anymore if it is me or if it is them, maybe a little of both!! as much as i would like to have a relationship with them I think that it has to come from both ends and cannot be one sided. I have thought that maybe I have justr pushed them away so much I may have alienated myself from my them. I am so differant from most of the people in my family I have a hard time relating to them at all. I have tried to relate to them on so many differant levels I have all but given up all together!!

This year I have decided not to come up for xmas or my birthday. I feel like I would prob say something that would make me look like an asshole so I think it is better to just skip it all together!! anyone have any suggestions please leave a comment

Tampa, and its good luck charm again!!!!!!

Wow, This morning when I woke up I was expecting some wind and bad weather but there was nothing more than a little wind. I cannot believe that we did not get anything from Hurricane Wilma. I am certain that Tampa Bay is the best place to live on the Gulf coast when you consider the weather.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

I found this quote today and thought it made a lot of sense! Sometimes it seems the I never get enought time to do anything!!!!!
I find myself really being shocked how fast my work week goes and how my weekend flies by even faster!!!!!! This week had a little more excitment than usual we had food and games, amazing what the little things do for your day. We also had a fire in our building which is the second fire in 3 months!! The problem i have with fires ina building like this is, "how do you get out?" the process of oving 12 thousand people in a few minutes seems kinda scary. What is even more disconcerning is they do not let you out of the building when it is on fire!! we had to wait in the building while we watched all the fire trucks and people looking at the building from below. The building is 40 stories and they only evacuated floors 1- 3. I cant help but think about 9-11 when they told the people to stay where they were and help would come. I know that our building was not going to fall down but you always get that feeling of " what if?"

Funny Pic for the day

This is such a funny Picture

Vacation

I seriously need a vacation, I cannot wait for my vaction to start. Work has been so crazy and really really busy!! WE are short people and It is season for quite a few products which are shipping all over the world.
I went to Spring hill on Saturday to gte Jason's car fixed, the site aty my mothe's house was pretty scary!! I dont know if I have ever smelled a smell like her house, It smelled like pickles!! The dog was a mess and holding onto life with one paw, poor thing hardly moves. My mother insists the dsog is fine but he does not look fine, he looks like he is in a lot of pain. I bought her a gift for her birthday, It was a little late but I dont think she cares either way. Jason and I bought her a Target gift card and a candle than she proceded to tell us a story of why she has issues with Target! A simple "Thank You" I love it would have worked fine for me. Sadly it is about the ojnly thing I can expect from her anymore I dont think she even knows how she sounds to other people (ME)
Spring Hill looked exactly the same but with more houses. I will never understand why people would intentionally want to live in that shit hole. Everytime I go I wait for someone to add some culture or some sense of identity, but no. I think what Spring hill needs is some Gay people!!

FRIDAY AGAIN

Dammm.... It's Friday again, not that I'm complaining! Like I was saying yesterday the weeks are going by so fast, tomorrow I am going to wake up and be retired. I think it's a little scary how fast time goes by as you get older. It is almost like a sad joke mother nature plays on people, the older you get the faster you get to you drop dead. But anyway, on to better news! I think things are going great, now that everything has calmed down. I think Jason and I have a better relationship and are getting along much better than we have in the past. The apartment is finally looking like people actually live there and Ashton is turning into a gigantic dog. I cant believe how big he has become over the past couple of months, he's huge!!. I took him running around the lake last night and also this morning. I hope he will get rid of some of the energy he has been saving up for me everyday when Jason or I come home!! The dog is like a crazy freak running around all over the place eating and chewing on everything. All and all though I think he is a really good dog and I am started to get a sense about his personality. He loves to be around people and is always looking for ways to get your attention.

Over the hump!

I cannot believe how fast the weeks fly by, I feel like I can never keep up with them!!!! I guess that's a good thing considering my vacation is soon,(couple of weeks). Things have been great for me as far as

Tuesday..... Blah

Tuesday seems to be the busiest day of the week and I am not sure why that is but it makes the day fly by. I have been totally lacking any motivation lately and am going to get into a routine that makes me move around a little bit more. since i have started working at cp ships my activity leve has dropped down to alomst nothing!!! I sit in a desk all day for the most part than go home and sleep. I would like to get into something that would at least motivate me to stick to eating and moving in a healthy way. I am going to get jason to start moving so we can get our asses into shape!!!

WOOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKK

Wow, work has become increasingly busy over the last few days and has been a little stressful to say the least. The season for Dried fruits and nuts has started and the customers have been going crazy making bookings all over the world. It really is amazing how small the world really is especailly when you work for an international shipping company. I finally recieved my 90 evaluation and they want me to stay so Im siked about that!! There was a whule there that i thought I may be in over my head. I nevere really thought the job was hard it justr seemed like so much forign information that I had never been exposed too.
Now, I think I'm ready for moving up in the company and it has been only 3 months, ya three months. I would like to do management in Exports which would bring my salary up about 45 percent, crazy what they pay people in this company!!!

Ashton, cutest dog ever

This is a pic of my dog

one more time

AURIBUS TENEO LUPUM" -I hold a wolf by the ears- I wish someone could explain to me why the length of our life is just long enough to make all the mistakes we could possibly make, hurt all the people we could possibly hurt, take as much possible forgranted, and overlook every good opportunity, yet it's when we have learned from all the mistakes, reconciled all burnt bridges, realize that nothing in life shold ever be taken forgranted, and begin to see every situation as an open door... that our life is nearing the inevitable end. Why does life have to be a game, and one that your never taught the rules to, nor the objective? Why is this world just one big rat race... a race to what? Death? We work our whole lives to attain everything we deem necessay to fulfill that endless black whole in our lives, but the more we fill it the larger it gets... always reaching, yet coming up a hair short of what we believe will make us happy. Why is it the people you want to care about the most, the ones who deserve your all, are the very ones you hurt, time and time again. Better yet why is it the ones that hurt you time and time again, are the ones to whom you give your all, in hopes that they will care about you. Why do we never see what we have so long as its right in front of us, but when it dissappears thats when we realize we can't live without it? Why is there so much anger, hate, deceit, and evil in the world but the search for purity, love, kindness and good has been unsolved for centuries? Why does everyone take, but none will give, we laugh at the mistakes of others, magnify their faults, belittle their concerns- yet never offer a hug for support? Why is it I can sit here and analyze this, and wonder how the world got to be just how bad it is...and yet staring in the mirror- I find staring straight back at me just another piece of the puzzle.

Well noted

So I was thinking about how things went down this weekend and how really stupid it was. Nothing was ever intended to get to that point. I hope that when you're reading this, you've calmed down. Sometimes friends just can't live with each other. It's just personality differences. I've said that before. There really is nothing wrong with that. It seems likes everything is your fault right now but I'm sure there is stuff about Dave and I that you hated. The reason you were asked to move was because you seemed to be completely miserable every day about everything. Nothing seemed to make you happy and we have our own issues to deal with. We just couldn't spend anymore time on figuring you out and figured you needed to be alone. I have to look out for my best interest first before anyone. If that means getting someone mad at me for it, then so be it. It's now time to just look at it at an adult perspective and realize this was the best thing to do.

When I told you to stand up for yourself, I didn't mean to start screaming and cursing. That doesn't get anywhere. Take it from someone that was in your shoes at one point. You'll learn to deal with a lot of issues if you remain calm. You've told me time and time again you don't want advice because you hear it from everyone. If you stop and listen to people you won't have to deal with situations like this that often. I hope this is a learning lesson for you to start listening to people when they talk to you, especially people that care about you.

I think you're a good friend and a decent person. You have a big heart and I know you don't mean any harm to anyone. I think you are immature, and sometimes cross the line on issues. This letter is not intended to get you mad or anything. Because I think of that of you does not mean I hate you. I really don't think you care if I hate you at this point, but I just wanted to make it clear that I don't. I don't intend to treat you any differently at work and definitely will keep it out of the work place all together. It's not an issue for anyone there to deal with. I would expect the same respect from your end.

Your stuff is fine and is in the room. Nothing is going to be touched and everything is where you left it.

As far as things with Dave goes. You're going to think whatever you want.. It's ok to not like people's actions and you have to understand that people get angry and say some hateful things. I'm not saying what he said was right but you've done it too. I'm sure he doesn't mean anything he said about you. He just really thinks that you need some time to reflect on whatever issues you're having in your life and once there resolved, maybe you can start over again. It's hard to be happy with someone when they are not happy with themselves. Dave once told me when I first met him that if I wasn't happy with myself no one was ever going to like me. I believe him because the second I started doing that, I started having some great friends in my life.

Take this for whatever it is. It would be a shame not to be friends with you anymore over this. After all, it is kind of petty. I know it was a pain in the butt to move but I think it was for the best. You can hate me and never speak to me again and that's fine, I'm pretty confident this will all blow over. The ball is in your court for that. It's time to act like an adult and decide. I do not and will not ever speak of this again. This is the last time you can hear from me if you want.

Do I know you??

So.... I am still looking for something to get my mother for her birthday. I am still having some difficulty getting something for her considering i havent really talked to her in about 3 months. I think I am going to wait until I get paid again because I am so broke right now. Even if I had the money to get her something I dont know what I would get her!!! I rarely talk to my own mother and I know that is really sad.
I dont know if I can change the relationship with her she seems to enjoy being alone most of the time. I think it is hard to get close to someone when they are so closed and distant. but anyway I still do not know what to get her so I am still taking suggesstions any ideas let me know!!!!!

RITA.... And Tampa's good luck charm

Tampa must be the luckiest place on earth at this point!! We are always sparred these monster storms that linger right off the coast!!!! Thank god this one is going the other way!!!!
I think out of all the places to live in the southeast, Tampa Bay is the safest place to be. hurricanes seem to always have problems making that angle to reach around and pound us. I'm not saying that it is impossible but statistically speaking it seems like we always make it out without any damage!!

Birthday Gifts

What do you buy someone you never talk too? That's the problem I am dealing with now!! I need to find something for my mother BUT HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE LIKES!! Anyway, I think something generic like flowers will do the trick. I have tried for a few years now to put some thought into some gifts for her but I think it's best to keep things simple.
Speaking of simple, the past weekend was horrible and more drama than I care to deal with ever again unless I have children in my lifetime!! I am excited to have the apartment calm and drama-free and am happy about the extra room. Although I am sad it had to come to this I think that there was no other way to resolve the situation. As far as blame is concerned I really don't think it was anyone's fault, it was just people who don't make good roommates!!
Jason has been having a hard time sleeping lately and dealing with the drama associated with living with someone that is difficult to handle. I think it is for the best that things ended the way they did. I already knew that things would probably not work out but tried anyway hoping that they may. I think the age difference was by far they main issue with this situation.
As with everything else people grow older and wiser and get over these problems over time, I know I did!!!

Hurricane Rita

..... What's going on with the weather? Another Hurricane, which is the 14th storm this season. I almost feel guilty that Tampa has been realtivily unscathed by all the bad weather over the past two years. Luckily, Tampa has never been hit directly by a hurricane, but they do come close!!

Our President

..... I was reading an article today about the debt the United States was incuring. I was even more disturbed that our government has been borrowing money from other countries to pay for the war in Iraq. how can the richest country in the world borrow money from countries like France, and South Korea, how can this be??

The Fire Within

It is amazing how much advice people will give you in your life, but if does not come from within its nothing more than a waste of time!

Hello There, IT IS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

I told you so.....

So.... I think as I get older and I have heard this from a lot of people, never have roommates!! I think it is fun when you are young and you have left home for the first time. I am 27 and I have come to the conclusion that I cannot live with anyone other than my BF.
It is hard to put into words what life means to some people and I find it even harder to explain life to others. What is true to some people is not true for everyone else. I have tried to help my life experiences help others not make the same mistake . We don't seem to have the ability to learn from others unless we are open to other people.When you are going through a lot in your life you tend to think it is only happening to you, like the world is on your shoulders and no one understands. When you think people are sympathetic to your feelings you expect them to understand how you feel and in essence validate your sadness or pain. Some people are so depressed they dont see anything other than their own life, it is a sad selfishness. like many people the only way to deal with these feelings is to behave in a way that makes people validate why you hate yourself so much, it is a self fulfilling prophecy. What causes you to feel bad in the first place is actually biting you in the ass again from a whole new cycle, created by you. You are the only person who can fix you, no one will come along with the magic key to unlock all your pain and make it go away. By expecting others to validate your distorted view of the world, you are only making your relationships worse.
Being young is the best time to find yourself and understand who you really are. I am certain for some people they figure it out when they are 16 for others 56. We are not all born with perfect parents and perfect life, not sure if that exists!! I am positive though, in the future you will look back and think, "They were right!!" and I will leave it like that...

I told you so.....

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so...... Happy today is Friday, what a short week! I am planning on a pretty cool party for Jason Tomorrow and hopefully get him to loosen up a little!! The apartment is a mess so I think I will be spending some time tonite cleaning it up. We bought a new couch last weekend so hopefully nothing will be spilled!!
Jason may be going to New Orleans to help the folks get thier lives put back together. I think this may be a good project for him considering he is havng a hard time validating why he has joined the military.

USA

I think that most of us have been troubled by the recent events surrounding Hurricane Katrina. I think my feelings have been all over the place trying to understand the nature of such a huge disaster. I think I am more concerned than ever on the quality of life I may be able to have in Florida or the US.
I know that in a few weeks people will probably get over all of the pain and sorrow of what has happened. We will all go back to work and forget about what really happened to New Orleans that day. I think most people will forget about President Bush and his Vacation, by the way thank you Mr. Bush for cutting your five week Vacation the people of new Orleans are grateful!! I cannot imagine my entire life being turned upside down by something so terrible while my president is chopping wood on his Texas ranch.
Since 9.11 the government has been preaching to the people proclaiming the United States is safe from any attacks. I have a problem with that statement when they knew this storm was coming and they knew the damage that would be caused! The united states was not prepared for 9.11 and had no idea that such an attack could occur! So.... Why was it treated like nothing more than a summer thunder storm when we knew(government) what this would cause!!!

I am having a hard time finding any reason to live in the United States, as sad as that sounds. I do not feel like this country is what best represents my ideals or beliefs. (Not to sound too dramatic)

Mondays are Horrible

Today, everyone at the office was tired or lazy!!! Everyone was bitching about how bad they felt which makes the day seem to drag on forever!! I think that laziness is addictive and spreads like wild fire in the office. i am looking forward to the long weekend though it will be nice to have three days off. I am getting used to the schedule and am looking forward to the bonus time at the end of the year!!
I know the company may not be here at the end of the yr due to the buy out but I am looking at it in a positive way and am hoping for the best. I have heard they have operations in Miami and that would be awesome!! I do miss Miami a lot and would love to move back if the situation was right. I told myself I would not move back unless i had a great job and graduated college, hum both may be true soon!!

Drama

¡Sobre el pasado pocas semanas he crecido realmente cansado de bullshit de los nicoles! ¡Soy listo para ella moverse hacia fuera!! ¡Estoy escribiendo esto en español porque sé que ella no será agle para leerlo y estoy evitando drama de la High School secundaria!! ¡Pienso que la única manera que podríamos seguir siendo amigos es si ella se mueve hacia fuera! Pienso que soy realmente demasiado viejo para la gente que actúa como niños. ¡Muévase tan fuera de Nicole!!!

Hump Day

Wednesday, this week is going slowly!!! I have to say this is the first week that has been slow for mew since I have started working at CP. I think we have finally settled into the new apt over in South Tampa, I really like the neighborhood. The neighborhood seems to be more my style although I dont think I will ever be able to afford a house!!! Everything there is over there seems to be over half a million dollars so looking like I will not have the funds for that any time soon!!! But.......... someday!!!!!!

Reasons For College

I have often asked myself what the purpose of getting an education? Well, I can now remember why!! Rule #1 Going to college allows you to make correct decsions by being an informed human being. Rule #2 It helps shield you from the harse world of corporate buy outs and mergers. I am nearing the end of my Bachlers degree and am working for a great company but they were just bought out yesterday. What does that mean? It means that futures are never certain no matter how hard you work and little things like a great job can always be taken away from you!! The final Rule, Rule # 3 Your eduacation can never be taken away from you, you earned it and it is always there!!! So...... for those of you who think it is a waste of time, think again!!!! www.usf.edu

Trying to save a soul

Most of the time I am reluctant to talk about my personal life on a blog or anything Public. I find it is really useless to divulge too much information or talk about anyone too much. I do however think that sometimes talking about things can really help you find perspective in something that may seem too obscure.
How do you tell someone that they have control over their own life? I have a friend with whom is struggling to find him/herself. I find myself having little or not patience with this person and for that reason, I feel bad! I am having a hard time looking at the person seriously or even being around them. I am trying to tell myself that the age difference is truly what the problem is, something that I cannot change.
But..... And there is always a but! I have another person in my life who behaves the same way!! They spend their life trying to convince everyone around them to fell sorry for them. They make a point to have issues and drama for things that seem to materialize in thin air!! They say things that you know they don't really mean to say but they say it anyway and it makes you even more irratetd and distant. These people tell you how hard they have lived and yet they behave in a way that makes you distance yourself from them, its like a never ending cycle. These people think the only way for people to understand them is by making people sorry for them, the problem is no one will ever understand what is going on in your head nor will they care!! They will only care about you trying to get over the hurdles in your life, making that initial step to let go, that is what people care about. People are human and can only understand what is real to them, someone's sob story will get zero accomplished and will only feed the depression that people live with.
This could be anyone or you!! I think there could only be a few people in my life who may take this to heart or make sense out of it, if its you CHANGE!!!

The World does not wait for you to have self esteem, it just expects it
* Bill Gates

New Apartment

I am looking forward to moving into my new apartment this weekend. I have grown really tired of that old neighborhood. I have basically been living in Nrht Tampa since I have moved back frm Ft lauderdale. I am surprised how differant South Tampa is from the rest of this area, but it is not saying much. The outdoor activities are much more plentiful in the area like fishing and boating so I think I will take advantage of all that.

New Member

...... Bought a puppy today and he may just be the cutest thing I have ever seen I will dl pictures soon so I can show him off

Time Flies

......Where does time seem to go? I find myself living in a cliche about life getting faster as I get older. I was day-dreaming today about my life in Miami and wondering how I ended up where I am, Downtown Tampa? The time from Miami to now has gone by so fast, I'm not sure I have had enough time to process it all? I think it may be the same sentiment many of us have! When we talk about how the week or month or year just flew by, is'nt it likely we missed the time we so desperatly try to hold onto and just let go as if it was just another breath. We have a hard time understanding how much time we waste on "THINKING" and not living. I'm not sure why I was thinking about this today i guess It was just odd how I went from 18 too 27 in what seems to be such a short period of time.I was certain when I was 18 I knew what I was doing with my life. I've come to realize I am not one of those people who has everything planned out and organized. I dont know what is better? Is having your life a plan better than living your life without expectations? I think I'm happier now not knowing where I'm always going to be, and looking forward to the unexpected.

View From My Desk 500ft above Tampa Bay

Second Week

My second week at my new job and I am still wondering what the hell I am doing? I have beentold by everyone that works there that I will eventually get it and slowy but surely I think that I am coming around. The environment is quiet and sterile at times but i think that will change.

New Job

I think I have loaded a ton of information about the shipping industry in little over two days!! I never knew what went into going from here to there on a shipping vessel. So far everryone has been nice and pleseant, a change from burlington coat factory. I am defintily looking forward to some good paychecks something anyone would be happy about. I am convonced this job will help me in the future and when I graduate help give me some much needed experience.

interesting

AURIBUS TENEO LUPUM" -I hold a wolf by the ears- I wish someone could explain to me why the length of our life is just long enough to make all the mistakes we could possibly make, hurt all the people we could possibly hurt, take as much possible forgranted, and overlook every good opportunity, yet it's when we have learned from all the mistakes, reconciled all burnt bridges, realize that nothing in life shold ever be taken forgranted, and begin to see every situation as an open door... that our life is nearing the inevitable end. Why does life have to be a game, and one that your never taught the rules to, nor the objective? Why is this world just one big rat race... a race to what? Death? We work our whole lives to attain everything we deem necessay to fulfill that endless black whole in our lives, but the more we fill it the larger it gets... always reaching, yet coming up a hair short of what we believe will make us happy. Why is it the people you want to care about the most, the ones who deserve your all, are the very ones you hurt, time and time again. Better yet why is it the ones that hurt you time and time again, are the ones to whom you give your all, in hopes that they will care about you. Why do we never see what we have so long as its right in front of us, but when it dissappears thats when we realize we can't live without it? Why is there so much anger, hate, deceit, and evil in the world but the search for purity, love, kindness and good has been unsolved for centuries? Why does everyone take, but none will give, we laugh at the mistakes of others, magnify their faults, belittle their concerns- yet never offer a hug for support? Why is it I can sit here and analyze this, and wonder how the world got to be just how bad it is...and yet staring in the mirror- I find staring straight back at me just another piece of the puzzle.

Two Week Notice

I really hate the two week drill you must give employers when you find a new job. I find it to be more head ache than its worth sometimes. The days seem to drag on forever and I'm fighting every nerve in my body not to walk out the door. I realize though it is a good idea to leave with a good impression. I almost cant believe I will be gone from that store, it has become part of my life.
Even though I knew I was graduating college and would land something else I just became so accustomed to the routine. I am looking forward to something new.www.cpships.com.

anyone interested in finding out where I used to work www.coat.com

.....New Job

Today I found out about the position at CP Ships. They finally made thier decision and choose me. I have been waiting for over a week and It was making things a bit nerve racking. Like some previous entries it was pretty obvious I was happy with my past job. This job will actually give me the oppurtunity to move up in the company and use the skills I learned in college. I think retail has prepared me for anything that will come my way. Working at Burlington Coat Factory has exposed me to just about every type of situation or person. University Mall which is located in a GHETTO area in Tampa Bay has always attracted the finest Tampa has to offer. I think I lost a little hope and respect for the human race working at that mall. Well Thats all for tonite.

Memorial Day

..... Like many people I never really made an effort to recognize Memorial day as a real holiday(just another day off) Until this year. This year is differant because for the first time I know people overseas. I am also Dating one that will soon go far away from our BBQ's and Fireworks. I think its amazing how some of the world sits in turmoil while we watch our favorite sitcoms on television.

So... Happy Memorial Day

Tampa Gay Killer(scary) 

Another Dollar

I worked all Day today and It was busy as hell, I hate that mall!!!! I went out last night, Nicole dragged me out. Chambers night club changed thier club and I was actually a little impresssed with the new layout but it was still the same 'ole club. Everyone was out including David and his gang.
Before I go to bed this is a link to the state attornys report about the Gay guy who was killing gay men, I warn anyone who reads it, its explicithttp://reports.tbo.com/reports/schweickertcomplaint.pdf

Played Hookie

Today I was a little hung over from going out Thursday night. I was hurting pretty bad. I really wanted to get out and have a little fun after getting a call about an Interview on Moday. I am optimistic that I will be getting a new job soon, something I think I have needed for a while.

Nicole and I went to Valentines to have a little fun. I now realize why I do not venture out to that place often. I never knew how ghetto some gay people are or how tacky some of them can be. I do find going to places like that boosts my self esteem, LOLhttp://www.valentinesnightclub.com/

Dear Dr Laura

I am sure all of us have read this letter but for those who have not I added it to my blog, Have a good weekend

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Hump Day

GOD DAMMMM......... I never realized how dirty an apartment can get when people just overlook the obvious. Dont get me wrong for the most part all of us are pretty clean however It was the dust and just stuff that sits and gets left behind normal cleaning that piled up on me today. I think I had to get rid of 20 lbs of dust from the living room today, I think that may be why I am always sneezing in here. I'm not sure what causes sooooo Much dirtiness in my apartment other than the fact I live with three other guys all going to college and working full time. Ever since someone stole our foot mat from outside the door our apartment has become a huge dumping ground for dirt requiring montly carpet cleaning, which is not cheap.

Monday........

I dropped Jason off at the airport today so he could visit his mother and family in NYC. the apartment is quiet without him. I worked all day todayand once again I am forced to ponder my insistance on working for the company I work for. I have recently been working with a friend to try and get me into a company in downtown Tampa and am hoping something springs from that. The company is an international shipping company which fits into my degree better than retail (:
I was reading a blog today about a kid who just came out to his parents, something I did a long time ago. It really made me sad to hear his mother was unwilling to accept her son and she made him feel like it was his fault. This kid was only 16 yrs old and I wondered where he could go to get support outside of his familywhen they dont support him?

I love America!!! Guys in Turbans doing Keg stands
Friday Night Keg Party

SLDN: Don't Ask, Don't Tell / Lesbian & Gay Military Resources

SLDN: Don't Ask, Don't Tell / Lesbian & Gay Military Resources

I hope jason does not get too discouraged

Thursday...... Another day at the Mall

Since the semester has ended I have been working a lot especially at night. I find myself more and more wondering why I continue to do retail jobs? I know that I am more qualified to do other things and am bored to death where I am but I stay, why? I am graduating college soon after a long and I mean long long journey and it has made me appreciate my education more than the average person. I have had to work hard at it despite the obstacles that have come along and sometimes I wonder how I managed to do it but I am.
Although I sometimes find myself wanting to bitch out some of the people that work there I cant help but think about how amazing some of the characters are that I work around everyday. I have never in my entire life met and been around so many different people. Today I was thinking about how I would actually miss a lot of the people that I work with including, Cynthia. I was talking to her for about an hour today and I must admit writing down her personality would not do her justice. She has the biggest smile and the best laugh I have ever seen and she makes my day at work fun and somewhat enjoyable. She was talking to me today about a problem she has with excessive shopping with catalogs I thought I was going to die laughing. She explained how she is always surprised when the UPS truck comes because she can never remember what she had bought during her manic shopping spree at 2 am, she is sooooo cute!!!!

hot 

Thusday 

Mothers day 

Mothers Day

So..... I am forced to ponder my relationship on a day that is supposed to praise a mothers role In a child's life. I find myself wondering why I would go out of my way to even send a card when I have not even heard from my mother. I am not being bitter in fact I think I'm just disappointed more than anything else. I recently confronted her about about never calling or talking to me she replied, "don't feel left out, I don't Talk or call anyone". I am 27 now and maybe I expect or need more from my mother than she is expected to offer. I have to admit it would be nice to talk to my mother at least once a week, but maybe that is too much to ask. I think it is a day like this that makes this situation even more abrasive. I find myself thinking about whether or not I even know who my own mother is? How could I when she never lets me into her life at all?? I think its important to share experiences with your family it is what helps bring you closer to them. I am positive I need more than what I get from her in my life but am unsure what to do to initiate good communication, it usually ends with fighting

Today I spent the entire day lounging which was great especially after a long week of finals at USF. Although it was Mothers Day I decided not to visit mom I havent heard from her and when I called her today she did not answer the phone, I assume she is working. Jason Nicole and went out last night and checked out a new club I have to say it was pretty lame not really anyone around until 2 am and by than I was more than tired and ready to go home. I am trying to spend as much time as possible with him until he takes off for Africa. I think the reality of 8 months away from home is finally setting in for him. I think that after it is all over he will be happy to finally put all the military obligations behind him and move on with his life.